Celebrating Bad Poetry Day with 5 Cruise Poems


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It’s International Bad Poetry Day on August 18th and to celebrate the somewhat under-appreciated occasion, we’ve compiled 5 of our favourite cruise poems. Original and quirky, these budding authors may not be quite up to Edgar Allen Poe’s standard, but they’re definitely unique. But are they good, bad or somewhere in-between? We’ll let you be the judge!

The Cruise – by Whiskurz

My wife’s been whining for some time now
Wanting me to take her on a cruise
Now we’ve been married for twenty-five years
So she wasn’t gonna let me refuse

So we packed up our bags and off we went
Kinda like a second honeymoon
I said, “Fix us some sandwiches to eat on the way”
Then I told her we’d be there soon

She said, “Where are we going Hawaii or Bahamas?”
I said, “This place is better than that”
We stopped at a place that said, “Paddle Boats Here”
I said, “We’re here, now don’t forget your hat”

Well, now needless to say, I did something wrong
‘Cause my wife started throwing such a fit
We went around circles for at least twenty minutes
‘Cause everytime I’d paddle, she’d quit

Now I wasn’t gonna pay for no life perservers
My bicycle tubes worked fine
My wife had that tube wrapped around her neck
And both of her hands around mine

Well, to make a long story short, she’ll never forget
That time I took her on a cruise
And everytime I even try to forget it
I remember that horrible bruise

Bahamas Cruise – by Suzae Chevalier

On a cruise ship I did sail, going to the Bahamas, remembering it well
Listening to bands that played, dance hits of their day
That’s when the word “happy” meant “gay”

Taking photos on the deck, eating lobster, shrimp and steak
Raining when ship does land, can not sunbathe on the sand
Walking around to see the sights, Bahama’s tote bag I did buy

Along with 2 handmade dolls pale and white
One with black hair, other with yellow
One doll evil, other doll mellow

Names “Razel” and “Melodie” are sewn into each separate doll
In a craft like looking mall
Photos taken of dolls with me, even Bahamian lady very pleased

I put them in my Bahama’s tote, more sightseeing before getting on boat
Walking around the town, bargains everywhere to be found
Now I will go back some day again, with a more interesting friend

My First Cruise Poem – by Paul B

We are eating our way from the dock through the bay
Cruising out on the fabulous sea.
We’re a giant afloat, a magnificent boat
As we top off our dining with brie.

We are living like kings, and we drink frozen things
As we lounge on the deck in the sun.
We put oil on our backs, then they offer us snacks.
We never had so much pure fun.

We will drink at the bars and dance under the stars
To the music of joy and romance.
Then we see the fine shows, and it’s time now, lord knows
To give the late buffet a chance.

When we stop at the ports, then we all don our shorts
And watch all the natives at play.
Then we eat all the dishes made from tropical fishes,
And some of us wish we could stay.

We have lunched on the sea, had the afternoon tea
With cookies and ice cream as well.
Then, at dinner, partake of both lobster and steak.
Those last three desserts all are swell.

Then, at last, to home port, Oh the cruise was too short,
And how all the time just flew by.
And it just isn’t right that our clothes feel too tight
And we just cannot understand why!

My Royal Caribbean Poem – by Jordan Bailey

The ship’s horn blows,
People come on deck,
There the rope goes,
Crew do their check.

Evening meal comes,
Soup, meat, cake,
Everyone’s filled their tums,
Back to the cabin they wait.

Down to the Amber Theatre,
Order your drinks,
Or to the Aquatheatre,
Hope they don’t sink!

Come board the ship,
To a place that’s rather hot,
For this is Royal Caribbean,
The Nation Of Why Not?

Azamara Cruise Poem – by Heather McKie

To Scotland’s Cruise Centre in Ayr we did go
That’s Stewart Travel, as if you don’t  know!
We couldn’t decide-it was hard to choose
But we went for an Azamara Cruise.

We arrived on the Quest – the sky was blue
Of Venice we had a wonderful view.
Champagne in hand and tears in our eyes
The Quest sailed away past the Bridge of Sighs,
The start of an adventure which turned out to be
The best time we had ever had at sea.

The places we visited took our breath away
Exploring their beauty filled our whole day.

The staff were so happy to look after us
Nothing to them was a bother or fuss.

And as for the food well it really was neat
At Aquiline and Prime C you are in for a treat.

Lobster, crab and mouth-watering steaks
It was hard to decide which one to take.

Confections in chocolate and pastry and fruit
For everyone always something to suit.

Our stateroom was lovely with butler on hand
Looking after us well  – meeting every demand
With drinks on our balcony watching the view
Canapés he served every evening on cue.

The Quest we explored from top to toe
So serene and yet homely wherever you go.

We made lovely friends and had lots of fun
We swam in the pool and lay in the sun
And now we are home and winter is near
Our Azamara memories we will hold dear!

But What About You?

If you have a fantastic cruise poem you’d like to share, please post in the comments section. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.

Did this collection of questionable poems get you inspired to book your next cruise holiday quick smart? If so, head over to the cruising experts at Cruise 1st. They may not be aspiring poetry enthusiasts but they definitely know their stuff when it comes to putting together luxury cruise packages at amazing prices! Whether you want to cruise the sparkling waters of Australasia or venture further afield to European territory, the dedicated team will help you find the perfect cruise holiday to suit your budget.

Poem Sources


Image sourced via Flickr Creative Commons. Credit:smoorenburg.

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Cruise1st Team

As an award-winning cruise travel agency, Cruise1st is Australia's leading cruise deal specialist, based in North Sydney, New South Wales. The aim is simple: providing Australia and New Zealand with cruise holidays at the lowest prices in the marketplace.

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